THE MAGIC OF MARRIAGE is that opposites attract. This means that savers are attracted to spenders. Many of my therapy clients are in conflict over spending. A good way to resolve the conflict is to adopt a policy of marital allowance.
Marital allowance occurs when you and your spouse agree to the maximum amount of money either of you can spend on any particular item without approval by the other. When I was first married not only was I broke, but I was also in debt to my fianceé. She is the saver, I am the spender. Our first argument was over $80 I spent on some snow boots. We decided then that the best way to reign in my financial habit was to settle on the amount I could blow without her approval. We agreed on $20. It is still that way 44-plus years later.
The amount of the allowance is almost irrelevant. Some of my clients set theirs at $100, others at $300. The issue is agreement, rules, and follow through.
If you find that financial arguments are commonplace, you may want to consider adopting the policy of marital allowance. It has worked for me, my clients, and it will probably work for you.
Marital allowance occurs when you and your spouse agree to the maximum amount of money either of you can spend on any particular item without approval by the other. When I was first married not only was I broke, but I was also in debt to my fianceé. She is the saver, I am the spender. Our first argument was over $80 I spent on some snow boots. We decided then that the best way to reign in my financial habit was to settle on the amount I could blow without her approval. We agreed on $20. It is still that way 44-plus years later.
The amount of the allowance is almost irrelevant. Some of my clients set theirs at $100, others at $300. The issue is agreement, rules, and follow through.
If you find that financial arguments are commonplace, you may want to consider adopting the policy of marital allowance. It has worked for me, my clients, and it will probably work for you.
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